Apr 24

Apr 24 How Hypnotherapy Helped My Biggest Fear

Fears and anxieties - we all have them. Being 12 in 2001 cultivated some pretty big fears when it came to flying, and by the time I hit my mid-20’s, my huge desire to travel and explore was met with this fear on every trip. I’m happy now to be on the other side of it - and that I addressed it while learning some methods for easing in-flight troubles with simplicity. The method might surprise you… I used hypnotherapy.

I’ll start by explaining my fear of flying. It wasn’t just as simple as being a little uneasy. My fear grew as I got older and started ruining my trips, it had me anxious for days and even weeks ahead of travel. The morning of my trips before I even got to the airport, I couldn’t easily eat or relax. Driving to the airport, even thinking about going through security, it all had me on edge. When I actually flew, I experienced intense adrenaline, sickness, massive headaches, a lot of sweating, and plenty of crying. It was totally embarrassing - I hated it. I could do so many other things that people consider scary with such ease. I needed help - turning on music or a TV show in flight couldn’t stop the physical symptoms. Talking to the flight attendant when I was having a moment wasn’t helping. It was easier for me to just not travel at all… but my love for exploration and my career was staring my fear right in the face. I needed to squash it. And I didn’t want to pop pills for it. I didn’t want to order alcohol to force me to sleep. I wanted to meet it head on and figure out how to fly confidently just as I am. It seemed like the most simple way to go about this. Adding to the problem didn’t seem right.

Enter hypnotherapy. After doing a bit of research and making some phone calls, I thought I’d try it. What did I have to lose? I couldn’t find a downside.

Wikipedia defines hypnotherapy as: a type of alternative medicine used to create a state of focused attention and increased suggestibility during which positive suggestions and guided imagery are used to help individuals deal with a variety of concerns and issues.

So what is it like to experience it? It took place over a series of appointments with varying amounts of time spent “under”. Firstly, I met with my therapist to discuss my fears, my symptoms, and talk through what might have led to this great fear. I also explained what I do when I travel, my routine beforehand, what I eat, drink, etc. I learned early on that our thought processes are programmed almost like computer codes, and that our memories and interpretations of events throughout life are what shape these processes and feed into our fears and hesitations. Hypnotherapy is a way of re-learning the thought process, reprogramming your inclinations and rerouting fearful observations to nip them in the bud.

You are in control the whole time. I think TV and movies have over dramatized hypnotherapy - that they wave a watch back and and forth and put you to “sleep”. In my experience, if I wanted to stop I was always lucid enough to do so - but if you want it to work, you have to relinquish that controlling urge in your mind and let yourself experience it. Go along with it and participate fully! In my experience I would sit down, or lay down, while the therapist “counted down” to relax and focus me - then moved to a “story” or series where I would follow along and sometimes participate by answering questions or lifting a finger to let them know I was caught up to the scene they were explaining to me. Time flies by - a 30 or 40 minute session felt like a few minutes. I can’t explain how or why it worked, but after experiencing it, committing to it and relinquishing control to let it reframe my thoughts, traveling seemed easier - like nothing major. The anxieties I also got in similar situations like crowds, tight spaces, and heights also was helped.

It’s important to note that it’s not that I came out loving airplanes. I still don’t love flying, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable, but it’s more of a typical nervous/excited feeling that everyone feels when they’re going on a big adventure. My stomach might get some butterflies - but the fear doesn’t ruin my time, I’m able to hold a regular conversation, and I can even laugh and joke.

I’d love to share some other learnings I take with me on every flight, just simple little changes I made to my travel routine that made a huge difference in calming me down.

I avoid caffeine before flying. The night before, and even the morning of, I don’t take in any caffeine. If my flight is going okay and I feel calm, I have it on the flight (if you hate landing though, I wouldn’t recommend). Caffeine was helping to heighten my alertness and had me noticing way more detail.
What you seek, you will find. This is huge for me. I realized I spent the whole travel process from start to finish looking for problems. Since I was looking, I’d find them. A lot of them. Almost like when you get a new car, and you notice more of them on the road. There aren't literally more on the road - you’re just looking for them. If I find myself looking for a problem I…
Play the shape game. Seems cheesy, but if I can’t nip the worrying thoughts, I just start looking for circles, squares, colors, anything consistent that I can search for. Distracting your senses works. Or, playing a really easy game on my phone sometimes can help with this, too.
Calm observations vs. fearful anxieties. I learned the difference between these two. Have you ever noticed that when there actually is a real problem, it’s a calm observation? “The fire alarm is going off, let’s make our way to the exit.” vs. “What if we get trapped in here and we suffocate?!”. Simply noting whether my thought process was led by calm observation or fearful anxiety helps me identify which action to take.
Take a scent. Bringing a peppermint roller helps, too. If I’m in turbulence or something is actually going sort of “wrong” - smelling something strong can help distract your other senses from taking over. I’m still semi-worried, but I’m not in a full on panic.
I also pack a blanket, and my Trtl pillow. Two comforts that make any flight easier! If I’m comfortable, sometimes I can even fall asleep. Wow, what a change!